It's half past seven in the evening and I am exhausted. Some days my entire life feels like an emotional roller coaster that has more downs than ups. Is that possible? My partner and my daughter - well, maybe it would not be accurate to say 'they are not getting on', but let's just say, he didn't appreciate her calling home a "f*ck*ng c^£t" and she feels that he provoked him into it, and therefore, it's not quite as big a deal as he is making out.
Where does that leave me? The meat in the sandwich, of course. Now she seems to be avoiding him, and says she wants to move out anyway. To make it all worse - I got to bear the full frontal force of all of his anger after the fact, as she stormed off as soon as she had said it. And all of this happened on Saturday night. It's Wednesday now, and I'm still a mess. I've been through the entire mill of curled in a ball crying-screaming snarling anger-drinking, smoking, shutting down-blame and hatred, wanting it to be over-looking for a new place to live ... you name it.
No wonder I am exhausted, I suppose.
And right now, almost ridiculously, I am sitting waiting for Indian take always and waiting for my partner to get home from work. My life some days seems like a sad, sick, twisted joke. And I can't figure out the punch line.
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