Friday, 22 March 2013

Fight or Flight

I have a neighbour who has turned a bit nasty.  It's horrible.  Well, nasty is probably a bit of a stretch really.  It feels like nasty to me, at the moment ... but the truth of the matter is probably more like: stressed, upset, angry, over it.  There's been stuff going on, for over a year now, that has made living where she is living really difficult, due to a project on my side of the fence.  Her boundary is compromised and her footpath is a mess.

I've had a few goes at sorting it out and getting it deal with - but the truth of the matter is, I guess - it hasn't been enough and the whole thing has just dragged on and on.  When that happens, eventually sometimes some people explode.  Explode she did.  Good and proper.

The trouble with some people, when they explode, is that rationality just disappears.  I guess that probably goes for most people, when they explode.  So - I can't have a discussion with her, she just shouts accusations and name calls and adds more and more problems and complaints to the list.  There's not, at the moment, actually a way of sitting down calmly and figuring out what it is that I could do to make things better for her.  I wish I could.

I really dislike dissent and anger.  So much so that my whole fight/flight response goes into high alert over issues like this.  After the first conversation with her I had already decided that I didn't want to live there anymore at all and that I would just put the place on the market.  I've been looking at Real Estate websites, trying to work out how much I might be able to get for my house, and then looking to see what kind of a place I might be able to afford to buy.  I actually saw a place not too far from my current place that looks really great!

A lot of money and effort to spend rather than dealing with a neighbourhood dispute though.

I hope I stop feeling like that soon.  I really do.  I hope she calms down.  I hope we can find a solution that is going to work for her and make her feel like her issues have been addressed.

I have this horrible feeling that she spent such a long time getting to angry that now that she is there, she's decided she's damned well going to stay there.

*sigh*

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